malo humora [vicevi]
Moderator: Xaotix
10 DALMATINSKIH ZAPOVIDI
1. Covik se rodi umoran i zivi da se odmori.
2. Jubi posteju svoju ka samoga sebe.
3. Odmaraj se danju, da nocu mores spavat.
4. Ne radi - rad ubija!
5. Ka vidis nekoga da se odmara - pomozi mu!
6. Ne cini danas ono ca mores sutra.
7. Radi manje nego ca mores, a ono ca mores pribaci na drugoga.
8. U ladu je spas, od odmaranja niko nije umra.
9. Rad donosi bolest, ne umri mlad!
10. Kad pozelis radit, sidni, pricekaj, proc ce te voja.
1. Covik se rodi umoran i zivi da se odmori.
2. Jubi posteju svoju ka samoga sebe.
3. Odmaraj se danju, da nocu mores spavat.
4. Ne radi - rad ubija!
5. Ka vidis nekoga da se odmara - pomozi mu!
6. Ne cini danas ono ca mores sutra.
7. Radi manje nego ca mores, a ono ca mores pribaci na drugoga.
8. U ladu je spas, od odmaranja niko nije umra.
9. Rad donosi bolest, ne umri mlad!
10. Kad pozelis radit, sidni, pricekaj, proc ce te voja.
Mah - mah
Fata i Mujo se bude u sred olujne noci, u tri ujutru, zbog zestokog lupanja na vrata njihove kuce. Pitajuci se ko bi to mogao biti u ta gluha doba, jos po takvom kijametu, Mujo otvara vrata da bi pred njima nasao pijanca kako se klati, u sred kise koja ga siba sa svih strana, i moli ga da ga malo - pogura.
"Nema teorije", odjebe ga Mujo s vrata, "tri je ujutru, covjece!" i zalupi mu vrata pred nosom, vrativsi se u krevet.
"Ko je bio?" pita Fata.
"Ma neki pjano, koji trazi da ga poguram"
"Jesi mu pomogao?"
"Nisam, nisam lud, tri je ujutru i napolju lije k'o iz kabla!"
"Sram te bilo. Zar se ne sjecas, kad smo prije jedno dva mjeseca bili kod Sulje, kad smo se vracali i kad su ti kola crkla po onoj kisurini i u onoj zabiti, da se ona dvojica frajera nisu zaustavili da te poguraju, nikad se mi ne bi odande izvukli. Sad kad nekom treba pomoc, ti okrenes leda!"
Zamisli se tu Mujo, pa i malo postidi, i na kraju se obuce, obuje, i pode dole, te se prodere u mrak i kisu: "Halo, jesi li jos uvijek dole?"
"Jesam", dolazi odgovor natrag.
"Treba li te jos pogurati?" pita Mujo u mrak.
"Treba, hvala lijepo!" dolazi nazad odgovor.
"A gdje si?" pita opet brizni Mujo.
"Evo me na ljuljaĂ?ci"
"Nema teorije", odjebe ga Mujo s vrata, "tri je ujutru, covjece!" i zalupi mu vrata pred nosom, vrativsi se u krevet.
"Ko je bio?" pita Fata.
"Ma neki pjano, koji trazi da ga poguram"
"Jesi mu pomogao?"
"Nisam, nisam lud, tri je ujutru i napolju lije k'o iz kabla!"
"Sram te bilo. Zar se ne sjecas, kad smo prije jedno dva mjeseca bili kod Sulje, kad smo se vracali i kad su ti kola crkla po onoj kisurini i u onoj zabiti, da se ona dvojica frajera nisu zaustavili da te poguraju, nikad se mi ne bi odande izvukli. Sad kad nekom treba pomoc, ti okrenes leda!"
Zamisli se tu Mujo, pa i malo postidi, i na kraju se obuce, obuje, i pode dole, te se prodere u mrak i kisu: "Halo, jesi li jos uvijek dole?"
"Jesam", dolazi odgovor natrag.
"Treba li te jos pogurati?" pita Mujo u mrak.
"Treba, hvala lijepo!" dolazi nazad odgovor.
"A gdje si?" pita opet brizni Mujo.
"Evo me na ljuljaĂ?ci"
Randomness is strong with this one!
A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at
first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the
following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country. . we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex
lives."
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell "Mississippi'."
animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at
first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the
following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country. . we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex
lives."
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell "Mississippi'."
Ovo mi vi??e lič?i na crnogorce, ali hajd :scratch:Romantica wrote:10 DALMATINSKIH ZAPOVIDI
1. Covik se rodi umoran i zivi da se odmori.
2. Jubi posteju svoju ka samoga sebe.
3. Odmaraj se danju, da nocu mores spavat.
4. Ne radi - rad ubija!
5. Ka vidis nekoga da se odmara - pomozi mu!
6. Ne cini danas ono ca mores sutra.
7. Radi manje nego ca mores, a ono ca mores pribaci na drugoga.
8. U ladu je spas, od odmaranja niko nije umra.
9. Rad donosi bolest, ne umri mlad!
10. Kad pozelis radit, sidni, pricekaj, proc ce te voja.
-
SAMSUILUNOV OTAC
- Autor u Smokvinom listu
- Posts: 2110
- Joined: 30 Dec 2005, 00:50
- Location: 26. dimenzija, treća kuća desno, iza bukve
>Zadatak:
>
>1. Utipkaj na googlu (http://www.google.com) rije? Failure
>
>2. Provjeri, koji je prvi rezultat na listi.
>
>3. No comment.....
>
>1. Utipkaj na googlu (http://www.google.com) rije? Failure
>
>2. Provjeri, koji je prvi rezultat na listi.
>
>3. No comment.....
(When Lisa asks him about recycling)
Mr. Burns: Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese
Mr. Burns: Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese
O ovim fotkama slušam već mejec dana...
http://iportal.net.hr/vijesti/blogos/pa ... 84006.html
http://iportal.net.hr/vijesti/blogos/pa ... 84006.html
English is the result of Norman soldiers attempting to pick up Anglo-Saxon barmaids, and is no more legitimate than any of the other results.
- H. Beam Piper, from "Fuzzy Sapiens"
- H. Beam Piper, from "Fuzzy Sapiens"
I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his little head.
I'm not a morning person.
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his little head.
I'm not a morning person.